DAC is almost upon us, and with it, the inevitable array of bathing beauties on the Exhibition Hall floor, those hotties affectionately referred to as “Booth Talent.”

It’s always interesting to see these comely young women, and always interesting to see how well it works. Engineers are mostly men, mostly young men, and they – just like the Governor of South Carolina – are drawn to schmooze with sweet young things when they’re traveling on business. It’s all innocent, right?

You come to the booth of some company that’s selling software, you openly oogle the beautifully dressed (preferably minimally dressed) young thing there who’s demo’ing software, wearing a microphone and walking her audience through a sales video running on the big screen on the wall next to her. She knows she was put there to draw you in, and you know it, and she knows that you know that she knows it.

You listen to her sales pitch, you giggle because she seems to have noticed you, or mentioned you in her lively spiel, and then when she’s finished, you drop your business card into the big fishbowl on the counter and hang around to see if you won the Wii in the drawing that happens every hour, on the hour. Must be present to win.

Meanwhile, you look more closely at the company’s software on the laptops scattered around the booth, talking with the real booth talent who know the software, maybe even developed the software, and you become familiar with a product that you otherwise might not have stopped by long enough to consider.

It’s classic stuff and everybody knows it succeeds. And really, most engineers aren’t like the Governor of South Carolina. They’re not looking for a good time while the young wife is back home with the babies. They’re not looking to move past a giggle with the jiggle in the booth.

But then again, most engineers who come to DAC aren’t as good looking as the Good Governor, either – at least that‘s the received wisdom. But is that really the case? Aren’t there, in fact, just as many good looking fellows among the DAC Dudes as there are in the general population? This year at DAC in San Francisco, a select jury of experts is going to find out. So, consider yourself fairly warned.

A secret panel has been convened, and they’ll be working to spot the Best Looking Guys at DAC. I know who’s on the panel, but you don’t, and they won’t be telling you or anybody else – at least until the judging’s done. So, be very careful.

Dress well when you come to DAC. Comb your hair. Shave. Make sure your shirt’s tucked in. Maybe even iron it first. Skip that second and third beer. Suck in your gut. Wear some deodorant. Don’t wear white socks. Clean your glasses. Don’t wear your pencils in a shirt protector. Don’t schlep around with a backpack. Walk around like you’re the Governor of South Carolina, or at least his younger brother. Act like you have a chance of being selected by this year’s jury of experts. Most importantly, hope for the best.

Because at the stroke of midnight on Thursday, July 30, the Studelicious Report will go live. Therein will be found the names of the Best Looking Guys at DAC. And if this inaugural event is a success, maybe next year the jury will again convene. We’ll see.

If it turns out this year’s jury can’t find anybody at DAC in San Francisco worthy of being mentioned in the Studelicious Report, it may be disbanded. That would be very sad, but if it happens, it happens.

For now, as with any kind of judicial proceedings, the overarching ethic will prevail: Presumed good looking, until proven otherwise.

[By the way: I assembled the jury, but I’m not on it.]

July 23, 2009

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